Sydney Summer Series

WHAT? A PLANE? A BIRD? A FLYING PIG?
HOLD EVERYTHING SPORTS-FANS, 'PORK PIE' HAS RETURNED TO THE CHAIR, A CIGAR AND RESCHS IN HAND. HE MOVES THE FINGER TO EVENT 17 ON THE SSS PROGRAMME ("SNAILS BAY"), AND ANNOUNCES THE RESUMPTION OF NORMAL SERVICE.

'ANYTHING BUT AT SNAILS AS DR. DOCTORS WITH DAWN'

In a huge roll up last night at Balmain, Dr Matt Peters posed a new interpretation of doing laps in the Dawn Fraser Pool. Instead of going up and back, up and back, the good Doc had more circumferential things in mind - going round in circles!

And go round we did. In a grand sweep of this fascinating peninsular suburb we began at Mort, ignored the Snail, shoveled on coal at the Balmain Power Station, swam between the flags, studied 'Pioneer' tied up at White Bay, and marveled at the steam hammer. What a night, what a course, what a dinner afterwards at the 'Dry Dock'.

Lets have a decko at the whole shebang, and look beneath the skirts of this intriguing piece of course setting and the night that saw attendance records smashed - much as they were here last season (257 entries with at least another 25-30 in the group category. Well over 280 nags on the nibble).

First up is the great assembly location - further west of last years biggie, and the better for it. The UR crew were in full branded plumage with humour to the fore at check in (weigh in sounds better). The Banjo lands a portrait sheet with a choice of clue description sizes. A cool evening added to the anticipation, as the string men retired to the Camry to consider the unusual 1:8000 scale - and the centrifugal factor at work in Matt's mind. Punters used to the duck and weave of recent Summer Series offerings, where startled to discover the Doctor had deployed the noose - a complete ring of controls with very little in the middle. If this was a triple hanging at the OK Corral, the rope would need some tightening to deal with prisoners 14,7 and 10 - standing alone and trembling in the middle of the wagon (Pork Pie thinks he hears John Wayne, but snaps awake.....).

The course looked to be one of the smoothest circles yet seen in SSS racing, but did come with a nod to the puff-o-meter (the stairs on Dawn's western flank). All looked very connective however, with an easy to like beginning in the anti-clockwise direction that led one further and further on before confronting a barren return for the medium fitties, or a full circle to the east for the guns and some high scoring. This was seductive setting from Matt, drawing runners ever deeper into a web in the west, and then demanding commitment and a touch or daring to go fully east.

Most ponies jumped from the barrier and headed for #29, working the steam hammer and pool points, before plunging on to the old power station site. Some great control sites on the way in this magic part of Sydney (views from #15 and 24, the superb rotunda at #26, the pump house at 22 and yet more visuals at 21). Top stuff, and points well earned with the steps up and down at 15-4. You either then worked 11,23,25,16 and White Bay, or took a job on less pay via 1,14,7 and 9. Both had their fans, and both rewarding runners with the fascinating surroundings - if not the points.

Another option, and one adopted by 'The King' and the Pork Chop (in a 'brush with fame' moment), was to work east first via #19. Ignoring the hill climb to #10 gave a lower level route to #20 (connecting the streets here needed careful map contact) and a good linkage across the bottom the map to the western fun. The advantage of going clockwise was it gave you lots of point options in the closing stages - unlike those going 'anti'. Many looked at the spread of olive green, the low rewards in the centre, and just said 'bugger it, lets catch the Circle Line'!

I'd say most pots got some action, with possibly #10 being the least visited. There were problems at #5, with the small gap shown n/w not passable. James Lithgow lost time here, intending to run 27-5-6, and madly running south to only get 27-6 - and losing valuable time (not sure why 'The Tractor' didn't back up from the blocked route and loop in from the north??). Another classic to report - the local who complained about the noise of runners using the stairs adjacent to her house at #17! Matt has copped some weird ones over the years, but noisy stairs! Hard to believe.

Let's have a look at some of the scoring - and report an unusual aspect of the evening - the almost complete recording of all possible scores, with only 140 points unloved, and only one wet nurse ministering to #480. Also unusual to see the most popular score (with 12 competitors on the lick) at 510 points - very much higher points than the normal 300's bunching. Eleven runners posted 270 to be the next biggest group, with all other scores getting fewer adherents. This gives the lie to Porkies initial impression - that huge number would end up with the same score (29-21 and back). Good setting Dr Matt.

Claiming the yellow singlet, Richard Green swept the course in 42.34 to hold the 100 from fellow MM's Tim 'Bucktoo' Austin (running in desert fatigues) and Neil 'I've Got A' Lefevre (570's), and Kar-Soon's close 560. Going down the age escalator (something Mr Pie would rather like to do), we see OM star Andy 'Murray' Hill working across court for 600 in 44.46 to take the lollies from Mark Schaefer (590), and Jeremy Fowler/Andy Brown - home in 70's brown suede with 560 apiece. Even further down, we see an exceptional run from Sub Junior Adam Halmy (560 pts) taking the candle from Aidan (520 after the cruelest of one second penalties) and a great run from Hugh 'Grant' Petterson with 510 on the chalk board and a movie offer in the wings. Balmain local, 'The Watering Can', put on 490 in the same category.

The juniors didn't quite match 'The Ham', with Will Kennedy piling on 540 to lead Bjorn 'Borg' Lindqvist and 'The Mattress' by thirty. The girls were also on the fly with Amanda 'Home & Away' Holmgren screen testing 490 points, to shade Adam's sister Bethany (410 and wearing the silver sash). Sadly, there were no SJW's to report, so we now go back up the age ladders - to record yet another fantastic finish from OW star, Gill Fowler - home in exactly 45 minutes (!!) for a sensational 590 points.  Catherine Murphy took silver with 560, shading Lisa 'Sprint The Bays' Grant (540) and Claire 'Big W' Winneck (530 for the Shoppers Friend).

MW racing gets the Members Stand excited, with last night's betting plunge on Rachael 'The River' Povah paying off big time. Rach posted 520 to be well clear of earlier favourite Carolyn Haupt (450), in turn well clear of 'Tracing Paper' on 420 and Kirstan Lamont 'Blanc' (410 points and covered in snow). The vets turned up a tie in the blokes (Greg and Michael - 570's for equal firsts) and in the mares (Marie 'The Washing Machine' Ringer and Caroline 'Rod's On The' Davies - 380's for equal seconds). Paula, not lost on the Tongariro Track, piled on the VW win with 420, and PP notes Tania Kennedy running into bronze with 360. Good scoring from The Marquess of Queensbury Rules.

The Supers had well credentialed winners - Karin (380) from Debs (370) and Dale (320) in the SVW's, and Mel running on from James by ten in the SVM (510/500). Ian 'The Turin' Froude shared third (and the holy water) with Neil Hawthorne (490's) - after Neil, in an effort to shake the Beecroft Bandit, added #1 on the 25-23 squirt (JL going straight), but went over time and forgot to ping #29 on the run in! In the elderly ward, Rosscoe managed a tenner over the Pants in LM (no Steve Flick last night), with Tezza back on 380 - and wishing for more bush. Bryony took another win with 270 over Toni Frank (Sinatra) from BOW club in Perth - sharing the spotlight and the stage with MJ (210's apiece). Finally, Heiko flew for 450 and a win in the Immortals, with Janet claiming likewise, but with a more dignified 240 (claiming from Sue with 210). Brian 'The Bus' Cleland and Mal Gledhill worked the curbside lanes to be back in the depot with 340's - well off The Kincumber Kid's classy total, but a tenner on from Tim Cox.

The walkers were as per programme, with Chris holding Jimmy 'Page' Merchant at bay (350/310), and Michelle doing the same to Wendy (340/270). Something not right about our vet star (and recent open challenger) walking like this. Fans of 'The Bendy Bus' hope injuries will soon ameliorate and we can once more marvel at her extraordinary speed. Ruth 'The Prime Minister of New Zealand' Jacka is also note in the WaW's - with 220 points, and a message to the Queen about butter exports.

Some other stats to fire up the eyelids.

How about some great timing stories. This outing saw six (!) perfect pings, with Rochelle 'Chocolate Box' Cox, Heiko, Bethany, Gill, Tim 'Two Seconds John, Two Seconds' Cox, and Christine 'The Running Shoe' Walsh all home exactly on the minute (no seconds). In the close shaves department, how about a cheer for Martin 'Two Art Schools In The One Name' Slade and Andy 'I Believe' Graham, both carding 44.59! Connie and Ruth Jacka both managed a second more to spare - with 44.58's. Phew! In the groaning penalty corner, Hamish McDonald threw the kilt at the finish banner after carding a plus one second (43.01), and Mike 'Legs' Ward also suffered from his pit stop at 'The London' half way round - finishing in two over (45.02). Cruelty indeed.

Great to see such a roll up. It appears to be a truism with the Summer Series, the worse the parking, the bigger the crowd. Actually, not too bad last night, but I reflect on many other tight ones - Lavendar Bay, Kirribilli etc. Some other random attendees to note. The Russian Ballerina, Antoniya Bachvarova, with a perfect 500 (MW), Dan 'Brown' Bunting, agreeing to an all time record advance for 'The Pork Pie Papers' (400 million), Digby 'The Gardeners Friend' Pritchard, working 300 litres of complete lawn food in VM, Emily and Lucia taking turns with the E stick, and posting 200 Vatican postcards - and Gail 'The Chairman' Barr walking with purpose to the board meeting, 100 points in the briefcase. Great scoring amongst a host of others of course - including our all time record 'over'. How about a round of applause for Rodolfo 'The Cactus' Gonzales scoring minus 920 points after a 161 minute outing! Rodolfo's 250 points and 1170 point penalty are destined for the record books, and well shade Ian McKenzie's all point walk in 92.55 minutes (600 - 480 for 120). Ian, your just not trying!

OK, enough of this, the blogsters must be itching to add comments (something Porkie was somewhat sad to see didn't happen after early january entreaties). A great night with an amazing spread of scoring. Matt's deception worked a treat it seems, and maybe had something to do with his recent London City Chase participation - and take on things 'cunning running'. A top spot, and a map large enough to keep rotating - and maybe get to Snails Bay next season.

Looking forward, we remain in harbour contact with Steve Flick's Abbotsford next week. Steve returns to the initial assembly location at the Quarantine Station buildings, giving us great harbour-side running options with views galore. This is a relatively flattie, so should see some fast time amongst the flash Harry's. Steve is in excellent running form himself, so expect no quarter from the Legend - or any left over chicken. Make it a date.

Looking even further forward, I note the change of venue for round 20 at Vineyard Creek. We are now beginning at Homelands Reserve, Homelands Avenue, Telopea - not at Rock Farm Reserve as advertised.

Finally (Porkie is exhausted and in need of a White Rabbit Dark), I'd like to remind all summer series fans, followers, flogsters and friends, that the series is completely bought about by volunteers. There have been one or two recent incidents of abuse to course setters that really go beyond the pale. Please always reserve any negative comments you may have till after you have cooled down - and then maybe (if you have to) mention them to the organisers, to me, or ONSW Technical Director Andrew Lumsden. And it never hurts to let the course setter know they have done a great job - no matter how hard or easy the course. The magic of the Sydney Summer Series is the great texture we get from a variety of venues - and a variety of course setters. Long may the mix and the madness continue!