Thursday, October 28, 2010


Early rain and a rather wind exposed assembly area got things off to a difficult start at Berry Island last night. This spot hadn't been used for six years, and gives a wider range of competitors more of a chance to see this great harbourside location that the Smoothey Park start enables, so it was a pity that the rain gods dumped on us. Despite the rain, SSS addicts turned up in droves, unaware of the punishment that course setter Peter 'The Soil Tester' Hibberd had in store.

Peter's first SSS course setting venture saw him adopting the 'four corners' approach, and maybe not noticing the contours! Yep, it looked a very widely spread toughie, with many early arrivals starting a book on the likely 'over' time for course sweeper Glenn Horrocks. Some thought ten, Malcolm went for 'at least' fifteen - but all lost out big time to the man in the Pork Pie hat who collected up when The Glennster arrived 23" down!! A long course in every sense, probably one of our most out of reach in many a season. Unfortunately, to compound the length issue, there were many controls that proved difficult to find - adding to the timing woes of the fast pack. Locations and descriptions also came in for some stick amongst the hard runners - such as checkpoint 24 'Angophora Gum' (more correctly 'track end'), where James 'Elvis' Lithgow was discombobulated for several minutes until a wind gust blew the pot from behind the tree and into view!

Despite these 'interesting' aspects, everyone realised that scores would be low, and, unless you had Greenwich Point in your sights - very low! Nevertheless, runners taped on the 2B and got on the puff. Many liked the 40 points on the 'Island' itself and began south. Others were tempted by the flat run along the beach to #12 and then hoped the mapped dark blue harbour had an edge and that they could vacuum up #24 (wind assistance needed). Yet other bolder competitors (the Prudhoe Brides included), set off straight up the hill - and needed a good lie down before taking the track (down again!) to checkpoint 29. Although the pots were widely distributed, they did yield to fairly simple circles. Glenn for instance 'did' the island and then swept east (12,24,10,1,15etc) before in-out 16/3, and working across to the north and west, before Greenwich Point and a simple return via 29. He certainly got his monies worth! Porkie ran the 'collapsed lung' route (12,24,3,16,20,7,22,9,27,23,17,4,19 and home via the waterfall and Gore Cove track), but was a tad over - with the Garingal clock beeping the next departure as the card was flung down. Dave 'Steady Cam' Stitt, manning the red flag, took it all in his stride.

The northwest pots would have to be the lonely ones, maybe #2 and #21 being the most unloved. Number One also needed the smell of a Durian to divert runners from the more agreeable 10-15 route. Lonely stuff indeed in the eastern sector.

So, given we had a lowie, how did the gang fare?

370 seemed about it before correspondent PP headed for the workers club - with Glenn sharing line honours with Tom 'The Old Town Looks The Same' Joss. The Masters seemed to enjoy this more than the young guns, with Anthony 'Pet Sounds' Petterson and Graeme McLeod 'Er & Louder' singing in the rain for 360, Pete Annetts carding 340 and the Furniture Store posting 330. In the Open group, Mark 'Ing Time' Schaefer walloped 350 to take the silver in front of a top run by Ant '& Bee' Burnett and Dave Heggarty for 340 each. Steve Ryan was hung for ten less - as was new Master Richard Green.

The Vets were mostly sub three, although Mal 'The BSA' and Jimbo McLean popped 320 ahead of a top run from David Noble with 300. Wendy pencilled 350 in VW, well clear of any class rivals, and many younger blokes for that matter. The 'Hairdryer' was off the pace for 100, although Debbie 'Miss NZ' Byers worked up a the magnetic board for a very handy 260. Robin Cameron found herself back a few slots with 220 - not one of her best.

In the Juniors, Porkie noticed Aidan outpointed Matty Hill (230/200) to share the podium and score with Rachel Noble. Seb Porter Zadro on the other hand went home with grandad after winning from the other end of the board - a perfect zero! There were many zero's in fact, several of them groups and one suspects, first timers at this fandangled sport. It's all up from here folks.

Some other scores that caught the blod shot eye of the Pie Face, were Cath 'Edral' Chalmers posting 310 (husband Eoin was reported with 120 which seemed odd), Mary Fein's 340 including a seven minute run home from near #19/9 (cripes!!!) and Alison Curtin with 250. Danny Redfern also played the 250 card (VM) with some of his old mates looking on in wonder (Davy Bowerman 230, Ernest 220), although John 'Angry' Anderson worked the trousers for 270 - and boasting rights. For once in the Super Vets, Wazza Selby (260) was well beaten, with Neil and Ian cameron 'from Cameroon' kicking 280's and Steve and Rosscoe grabbing gold with 290. Thanks Warwick, we know you loved that small track at #29. Other interesting SV antics, were the Rooster to Feather Duster run of President Paul - looking at his watch at #8 and realising he had 1.5 minutes to go! A big contrast from last weeks excellent outing PP. Also reversing fortunes was Cheryl Bluett, posting +70 this week to atone for the minus therapy of the Lane Cove river last week. Good 'un Cheryl.

What else have I got in the bag? A couple more. The Murphy's at it again, with Judge Terry putting up a tenner over Helen (200/190), and Ian 'Make Mine A' Miller also doing a double ton in the WHO blue silks. Ian no doubt limbering up to knock off the IBM Melbourne Cup sweep stakes at Cumberland.

Also noted at the other age end, is Open Women champ Lisa Grant going well clear on the bend with 310 points from Elizabeth 'Restraining Order' Ruff (270 - good run) and Emily Don (I'm tempted!) with 240. In the Legends, Bryony looks to have pulled off another ton (with 240 in LW), and Ronald 'Biggs' Junghans had too much in the upper body for Teddy (260/240) and Mal (230). Great to see Malcolm immediately up to full speed in his first run of the 10/11 SSS season. Welcome back Malcolm.

That seems to be the end of the Porkster's scratchings for week four. A hard flog, some fast roads and some slow tracks. For me, the wind assisted pot at 24 is the highlight of an 'interesting' night.

And so we move on to event 5 next week at Putney with Colin and young Dunk in charge. This (and week 6) are also orienteering promotion events sponsored by Paddy Pallin, and we are offering introductory navigation training as well as the standard SSS course. If you would like to register for the intro, please call 8116 9848 or email Spread the word. As to what to expect from this great riverside venue - well, try fast running in some very pleasant parks with fantastic harbour/riverside views. A touch of the puff, but plenty of green underfoot. Join us for what should be a great evening. Note, there is plenty of close parking!

Thursday, October 21, 2010


In a great vote of confidence in Ted Woodley's North Epping course last night, Glenn (45.10) and Andy (46.10) bagged the lot in the proverbial 'just over'. Of interest is their taking exactly the same route, but in opposite directions. Andrew (OM) clung to Big Ben and went clockwise, while Glenn 'Horror Movie' Horrocks (MM) burst off via #1 and the bendy road stuff to the creek at 16. Lisa 'Secrets' Grant also had the handbag open, posting all thirty pots in 51" for a tidy 540 points in Open Women. Lisa sounds like she is fully recovered from last seasons 'spelling' and the attentions of the dreaded knee doctor. Good to see.

So, a top night in the bush, and a complete contrast in both topography and weather to last weeks outing at Cowells. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant for a light jog, but The Tedster had other ideas. On first viewing, the 1:7,500 scale map and an 8.5klm total length looked very friendly until you understood that you had to work the LCR to get a good loop happening. This meant a bit of ascent/descent had to factored in, as did the slower rates of fire trail and bush track travel. Teddy also popped a couple of neat 'don't argues' into the bushy proceedings that needed good quality South Maitland coal in the firebox to get without effort (we loved the hollow tree Ted). There were also a few nice power poles with pink ribbon to catch the pencil as a reward for early speed or late exhaustion.

Looking at the course now (after a bit of a lie down with a Billy tea and Arrowroot), I see how the southern collection proved the undoing of many (including Porkie). The 150 points 'pre creek' looked tempting, but left you well down on the clock and with a long run home - especially if you had trouble finding #16 as many did (it seemed lower than shown on the map). A better plan was to travel via #1 to 8, 30 and 20 and then work north to its two exit strategies. Those with the lung-power got the harpoon out and bagged those 90 before the inevitable bit of 'in-out' work to 13 and 25. Paul 'Father of the Bride' Prudhoe completed this loop with a brilliant return via 2,5,27,14 and 1 in just over 45" to claim the SVM silver and 410 points - just shaded by a great run from painter and docker Steve 'Dore" Flick's 420. The earlier climb out via the pylon also had its fans.

Some runners ignored the river altogether, content to enjoy the bemused residents of Boundary Road and add in a couple of daring side trip to the pylons. The river seems a long way down from that nice boulder (#4) and best left to the mad young things. It seems most of the Knox kids burst off at great speed to #1 to do a low loop via Browns and the climb back up via 16 and 12 - from which points, walking seemed a much more sensible way to go. Many options to suit the many abilities - that's the Summer Series!

I failed to nominate a lonely pot last week, and am struggling a bit to find one here. Possibly #17, but only because Gordon '& Tonic' Wilson ignored it. Gordy's route defies logic and saw his many fans laying a few early coppers on a rival nag. You see Gords worked the deadly southern sector - and descended to 16 and 29, and then retraced his steps to 24 and 2 and points north! Tres weird was the cry, and this time I'm not claiming it's a 'Gordon's for Me".

Before we look at some more scoring, I should mention that this looks like our first 200 plus evening this season, with 205 individuals and 46 grouped runners making a very nice 251 total nags on the flog. Good to see the momentum building. And now to some results.

The old Pie Bald always likes to look at the left hand board, and blow me down with a feather if we don't have a score to wonder at here. Cheryl Bluett managed a minus 260 to lead the pack in fine style. I think Lesley 'Harvey Oswald' Cox put up a minus twenty, and there may have been a few others - obviously caught short on the old Lane Cove. This is called getting your money's worth.

I've already mentioned the other end with Andy and Glenn. Joining in on the magnetic, and jostling for Porkies attention, we find Dave Hegarty (OM) posting 550, a short half head from Davy Bray (MM) and Steve 'The Sandal' Ryan (OM) with 540. Not sure if there were any more in the fives, but plenty of singers entertained the troops with good four hundred outings. How about Shane 'Googly' Henry with 470, just shading Michael Free and 'Pulpit' Pete Annetts (460) and Anto Petterson's 450 in MM. Gill Fowler getting three green lights with a lift of 470 in OW - in front of Carolyn Haupt (450), Catherine 'Non Custodial' Murphy (430) and Swedish runner Malin Anderson getting the hang of us with a tidy 420 in the same class.

The masters and vet ladies must have been hiding, because the only ones recorded were Linda Sesta posting 370 (MW) and a great run from Airdrie in VW for 330 to claim in front of Lisa (the incandescent Lisa) with 280 and Barb Dawson's tidy 250 (take note Graeme, I'm ON FIRE!). Also great to see Sue Froude amongst us again - and promising to get to more this season. Fantastic devotion as the Sooze comes from Cronulla! I do also have a note from a reader that Wendy Stevo had the afterburner on in VW for 460 - a sensational score from the bus stop.

The Junior Women saw a couple of great runs with Michele putting up 370 to shade Rachael Noble's 350. This looms as a great age contest. No JM's noted although I did see Aidan on the fly. The Legends are going to be great contests this year, with Bryony already three from three with a twenty point tickle over Ange's 270. Sue T must have copped a speeding fine and only carded 120, but is relishing the contest in the L's. We need Janet to join in to really get things stirred up. The blokes are also fun, fun, fun, with Ron's 390 taking the silk - from Dave Lotty's 360 and Timmy Cox's 310. Heiko must have left the map at some stage (seen arriving at #15 from the north!?) and only scratched out 240. Next week Heiko, next week. When we might also see Malcolm return to the fray (Lloyd popped a tidy 260 but might need a new prescription once brother Mal gets the shorts on).

Good to see Graham Horrocks back on deck (maybe now a Legend?), and also to see the WHO brides (Millar and Dunlop) working the knees for 330 and 320 respectively. Ted seemed a no-show, but maybe next week for the WHO top weight. Pork Pie always likes to see silk trackside, and it was a pleasure to see Judge Murphy in the green and gold ermine (for 240). Helen clipped the card with 230, in deference to a family feud - or a short spell in the cooler. Dale is staying in low gear (for 290) in this class, where a clear leader is yet to emerge. In the Vet Men, Peter Hibberd looked good with 450, a whisker in front at the photo from Mark Robinson (440) and Pete Marshall (420). Andy 'The Plumber' Graham was uncharacteristically back with 380, although Andrew 'The Saviour of the NZ Financial System' Lumsden was also 'Beached - Ez' on the same score, as was Steve 'The Minke Whale' Shepherd. Julian did a bit of YMCA in posting 300 and will need more nutricious feed before the big one.

Before I go, I'd like to note Emily Don scoring 270 - if only because it gives me the chance to mention her as Emily 'Is Don, Is Good' Don in the racing guide. Also note James 'The Artist' Lithgow once again failing to start, and, in possibly a first for the Summer Series, Ron 'The Jugular' Junghans niece Kirsten running her course (including the LCR tracks) in bare feet!

So, a great night at The Whale and a real buzz around the assembly area. Results are getting sorted and we are back into the SSS rythmm. Next week sees Pete 'The Shoulder Holster' Hibberd reveal the hidden texts and mysteries of Berry Island and its most famous son John Winston Howard. Will John be home? Will that bit of wreckage still be there? Will I stuff up along the creek? All this and more as we get fired up for SSS#4. Be there!

Also, late mail. Anyone interested in the inaugural 'Rumbalara Bush Run' at Gosford on December 12, should consult the Central Coast O web site ( That's it folks, Pork Pie is off to cook up a plate of veggies. As Ron says, you gotta eat your vegetables!

Thursday, October 14, 2010


Course setter Selwyn 'Pine Tree' Roper, put on a top course at Cowells Lane last night. Selwyn had a goodly scatter, taking in some of the nicer sites at this location, and also adding a couple of sneaky dead ended pot locations to trap the unwary. The middle section provided the mental stew, as runners and walkers pondered how to add them to a lower or higher loop. The circles expanded westward, with a good range of speeds catered for. Back via 24/14 was easy peasy, via 27 and 17 added a touch of the puff and pant, doing Upjohn needed more confidence and speed, while the outer fling to 10 and 30 was in the Glenn and Andy zone.

Under threatening skies, early runners looked to quickly get the sweat band loaded - generally liking the anti clockwise circle that followed an early scratch of the 2B at pot #1. Some visited #2 beforehand, getting their tables very mixed up, and probably then being sent to the back of the class. The clockwise brigade liked the downhill start to the seat at 3, before a bit of 'in-out' work to #13. Some, including Gordy, foreswore #13, intent on plundering more juicy fare further west. Both starts had their fans, and their rewards, as thirty pointers loomed into view without having to get too discombobulated.

I mention the weather, because later starters got a right soaking. It also got very dark and by 7pm was almost a night event. Thank heavens for the small WHO tent where the damp late arrivals peeped forlornly out at their cars, not daring to move. This show of inclemency is the reason the Old Pork doesn't have many time to record, as he doesn't like to get the hair piece too wet - and besides the old gent couldn't see a thing!

A couple of times that were noted included the Thommo's both doing 300, Robin 'The Camshaft' Cameron and Linda 'Dinner Ale' Sesta posting 450, Glenn doing the lot in 48.15 (an impressive vote on the course length Selwyn) and young Aidan putting up 380. Adrian White seemed to be up there with 580 with many in the mid fives. Gill 'Sans' Fowler, Mike Free and Davy 'The Gravy' Bray all clung together with 520, while Ron and Heiko posted 430 each in the Legends. I think Steve Flick managed 480 but appeared beaten by Wazza who ran in late to some applause from the Members Stand - and a 500 plus outing. Next week Steve - no Warwick!

So sorry about the lack of detail here. No doubt we will get the results up at some stage and all will be revealed. Bear with us on the R word. It will happen, but is taking a while to be down in the post McKenna SSS world we now find ourselves in.

Next week we return to North Epping where runners might get a touch of eucalyptus and sandstone as well as the parks and roads up there. Ted 'CNN' Woodley has a beauty planned with a more northerly start location than our last outing there. It should be fun, fun, fun. As you would expect sports fans. Be there!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


After snoozing quietly in South Australia at the Oz O Champs, Pork Pie is suddenly awake and raring to go. Tonight we have our first event of the 2010/2011 season - and what a way to open. Dan 'Platform Four' Redfern will get us underway tonight at Woolwich, and will no doubt have a full map of puzzling circle dispositions. A little Kelly's Bush, a touch of the Dock, a few nice sandstone houses and some glorious harbour side running. Yes, yes, yes - it promises to be a beauty. And at this stage, the weather looks like being ok. Maybe even a bit steamy with a damp track for our first outing.

'The Insider' has provided a nice call of the Masters card, and I'd be remiss to let the other categories go unsung. A few tit bits. Huon Wilson might be back to rattle the Juniors, Andy 'The Plum' Lumsden is being called to Wellington and will only complete the first half, Ron and The Tedster should both be at full throttle in the Legends, but maybe Chippy can spoil the party! Will Sue 'The Toastrack Tram' Thomson go for certain gold in the Legends or will she still chase the competitive edge in the SV's??, and will Andy Hill 'Song' be back to full power in the Open? All this and MORE as the SSS gets going tonight.

As The Pork will be traveling to Victoria for the Vic O Champs tomorrow, the usual post race analysis might not appear. But, rest assured, they will follow week two.

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